I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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