I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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