i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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