hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
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