He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
