he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
