Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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