they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
FUCK WHALES
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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