I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
