I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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