"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
