Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
