Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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