is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
