wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
