I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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