She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard