I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
