Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
