Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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