I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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