Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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