All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Dignity is for republicans.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
