sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
