if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize