4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize