Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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