I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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