he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
