i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
