Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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