I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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