He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
