Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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