New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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