i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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