on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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