you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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