and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
