I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
