I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My dick has a subreddit
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
