I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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