i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You made out with two different species that night
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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