So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
false alarm, still single
Randomize
