i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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