Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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