i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
