Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
