We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
