apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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