You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
