Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
