my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
