I'm jealous of your bromance
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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