so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize