Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
