drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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