How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
