take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
