she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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